melancholymango:

I did the being edgy and self-deprecating thing, it gets old. I wanna be soft and lovely and easily impressed. I wanna appreciate all the little things that make me happy the same way I’ve dwelled on every single thing that upsets me.

likeful:

(⁄ ⁄•⁄ω⁄•⁄ ⁄)

sridevi:

yall on here: kljfhlskdjghslkjg us gays are useless! lol we cant do anything right ugdigxixhlcohc cant cook, cant drive, cant read, CANT count. we just out here being big gay disasters! asdfghjgfdkjfk we’re all just a bunch of big clueless dumbasses :) <3

me: 

watermelinoe:

jackthevulture:

wtfenris:

toboldlylesbian:

waitress assigned kin

As someone who’s worked in several cafes, I’m mad at how accurate this is.

I will forever remember the time my friend and I were out for chinese food. we got up to pay and I (the short one with bottom energy i guess?) revealed that I would be paying for the meal, and the elderly man at the counter just flat out said “Oh, YOU’RE the boss!”

abac (assigned bottom at chili’s)

skinnylegcnd:

liquidlimits:

90scherry:

I just opened up a check in the mail, went to the ATM & found 20$ 😭 I’m not passing these shits up NO more on my mama!

im desperate

dicksplit:

When the chiropractor pops your hip back into place